We, the People of the Republic of Outside Men, observers of Nine Commandments, in Order to form a more perfect Union with another man’s wife, establish Just-us, insure domestic Bacchanal, provide for the common sense, promote the general Happiness and secure the Blessings of No One But Ourselves and our Prosperity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Republic of Outside Men.
1. The Outside Man shall have no vote on the Inside Affairs of the House of the woman he is in a relationship with.
2. When the Outside Man has made at minimum, two home visits, he is no longer a ‘visiting friend’ and is entitled to the Wi-Fi login.
3. The Outside Man has the sole power to abolish his role as de facto husband.
4. No woman shall, without the Consent of the Outside Man’s Government, lay any impositions of fidelity or faithfulness or execute the inspection of an Outside Man’s whereabouts, Instagram Likes and Facebook Notifications or the terms of the relationship shall be subject to Revision.
5. On social media platforms the Outside Man is prohibited from leaving comments; when convinced to do so, he will leave a punctuation mark.
6. Each House requires Private Judgment and Secrecy. The Outside Man shall delete all call logs and WhatsApp chats of himself with another man’s wife.
7. No Public Official or Market Woman Selling Mangos shall, during the Time for which the Outside Man conducts his business, create unnecessary bacchanal of matters that do not concern them.
8. The Privilege of Valentine’s Day and Anniversaries shall be suspended in every Outside Man’s relationship.
9. The Outside Man cannot accept a Title of Nobility outside of an Outside Man’s Republican Constitution and society.
10. The business of the Outside Man shall not extend further to the breaking down of homes; his only duty is to do land surveying to determine the value.
Amílcar Peter Sanatan is an Instructor in the Department of Geography at The University of the West Indies, St. Augustine Campus. Sanatan earned a Master of Philosophy in Interdisciplinary Gender Studies from the Institute for Gender and Development Studies. His poetry has appeared in the Caribbean Review of Gender Studies and Interviewing the Caribbean. Sanatan has performed spoken word poetry in his homeland, Trinidad and Tobago, for over a decade and is the current host of the spoken word open mic U.WE SPEAK and coordinator of the UWI Socialist Student Conference.